26 Comments
Mar 24Liked by Amy Cowen

I'm sad that an adult can't browse in the children's library and while I understand the reasoning it's still sad. Same with the playground, I've got grandchildren now so it's become one of my places again. There is something so magical about watching children play and explore that feeds the soul. In a completely non creepy way of course lol. I'm a preschool teacher so get to spend a lot of time with little ones.

I absolutely resonate with your struggle to find your place, never quite fitting anywhere. I know so many people and have lovely relationships with them but still feel like I'm on the outer edge of everything. I've given up trying to change myself to fit in and now I just try to enjoy the time I spend connecting or being in a place while I'm there. I've made my home a space where I belong and found other spaces, like your creative endeavours where I feel I fit a bit more than I do anywhere else

Some days it's harder than others but I guess that's what makes it sweeter when, for a short while, you find your people, your place, your home.

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Thank you for your comment, Lisa, and for pinpointing the "magic" of such spaces.... the life on the playground and maybe the magic in browsing the colorful world of picture books. I bet you are full to the brim as a preschool teacher! (I appreciate the comment about fitting in and creative spaces .... if you ever want to try our drawing group, please let me know. Very low-key. It's free.)

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Mar 24Liked by Amy Cowen

I am aghast that you can’t access the books in the children’s library. I can’t encompass the idea of separating persons from books. At the same time, I have a dim memory that I was once asked to leave the children’s section in a branch in Portland.

Last week, I timidly entered the Beverly Cleary library at the Central branch and asked where the teen books were. Rather than telling me to leave, the librarian pointed me to the YA area.

I was reading YA books before it was a thing. I found so many great authors by browsing. I am thinking of Meagan Whalen Turner and Maggie Stiefvater.

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Maggie Stiefvater is one of my absolute favorites. I am with you, I read a lot of young adult books and don’t think they should be out of reach. I can see where maybe a hang out space for teens could be protected, but books should be for all.

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I love knowing that you also appreciate YA. I am glad, too, that so many people now do - that it "has" become a thing. I was going to say that I don't know that I really think they would make me leave - unless I sat at a table. But seeing your comment about being asked to leave in the past, I do know it's possible. Being able to reserve books, of course, mitigates this. But sometimes you don't know what you don't know until you browse and discover, right? -- I'm glad your experience at the Beverly Clearly library was good!

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This week I checked out Cloth Lullaby: The Woven Life of Louise Bourgeois and The Bravest Woman in America about a lighthouse keeper. Hoping to write about a local woman lighthouse keeper.

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I have read Cloth Lullaby! The other is new to me... I hadn't heard of Ida Lewis. Looking forward to what comes of your research/inspiration.

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Mar 24Liked by Amy Cowen

I am a library person! I’m a rush in and grab my holds. If I have time, I browse, but that isn’t often.

I words: individual, illustrate, imagination

The challenge I’m facing in my journal is time. Trying to do too many things leaves little time to sit and reflect.

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I have spent a lot of time with the rush in, grab, and go, too. Along the way, I have found something else at the library though.... and in recent months, it's really become a place I look forward to sitting. Thank you for the words.

Time.... the quest for balance when we do so many things is real. I think (when picking and choosing) we make time for the things we really want to do.... I'm grateful that your journal gets as much time as it does, including our Sunday group draw!

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This made my heart hurt a little, for a variety of reasons. One, because it's been years since I've considered walking into the children's section of my library. Probably not since my own kids were still of an age to be inclined to go there. I do have many of their books still on accessible shelves in my house, so there's that. (We frequently reference the Olivia books, having added some of the text into our lexicon. Eg: "Is that true, Olivia? "Pretty all true!") But then there's the bit about not being welcome in the children's section. Having not visited, that thought had never occurred to me, and I get it, and it makes sense, but then again it makes zero sense and is, therefore, a tragedy. And finally the not fitting in. I tend to keep one foot in that space all the time, I'm sorry to admit, so I do empathize. Mostly, I think it is a lie I allow myself to believe. No doubt, there have been times when it was blatant and even more painful as a result, but generally I think it's my brain playing mean tricks on me. My husband often says he has no business living with other humans, that he'd be better served just living with a dog. It's not true, of course, but it's a line he repeats when he's feeling especially misunderstood. I'm sorry you were there this week, Amy, and I hope something in the days to come will help spirit you away from there.

1. A thousand things I still need to do. I'm trying to compartmentalize them so they don't eat me alive.

2. I'm not a library person, despite having spent 8 years as a board member (that ended some time ago). Funnily enough, I feel self conscious and unable to concentrate in libraries, same with coffee shops, unless I'm buried at a desk in the stacks.

3. Interested. Insect. Imagine.

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Ahhh.... Elizabeth. Thank you for the well-rounded and thoughtful reply. It wasn't intended as a sad piece.... but yes, the reality of a world that makes it necessary to put barriers in place really is sad. But oh so necessary. If we think about it from a parent's perspective, we don't want "just anyone" sitting in those spaces. I really do understand. I also really do know that probably no one would say anything to me unless I sat. But for rules to work.... most of us have to respect the rules. So.... I've really taken it as a place I shouldn't go. Just thinking it through here because I am sure that some people pay no attention to the rules. When the person who scares me is there though, I am really glad that rule is there.... that person should NOT be in the children's library. (And having the rule would allow library staff to enforce it.) Public spaces are complicated, right? The library is one of the most accepting and open spaces in our communities (I think).... which also makes it really necessary to have some rules.

I love that your children's books have become part of family language.

As for fitting in.... I am sure it's hard to tell when writers we don't know write about such things what the "reality" really is. I appreciate the good thoughts. Love your husband's comment.

Good luck with the thousand things. I hope you find the right order and tackle the ones most important -- and definitely no getting eaten alive!

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I very much agree that most rules are meant to be respected. I have a photo of a site in Ireland (Cliffs of Moher, I think) with a large posted sign: "No one beyond this point!" Beside and beyond the sign are a bevy of people ignoring what it asks of them, and below their feet, a well worn path from all the others who did the same before them.

So far, I'm still entirely in one piece, mentally and physically, so I've not been swallowed up. Just checking what I can off the list day to day.

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This gave me a lot of feels Amy! It got me thinking of the places I do and don’t feel welcome, for reasons of who I am with or without, how I am dressed or presenting or not. Maybe that is some of the excitement of the liminal space, being in transit when all others are as well, when no one really has better reason to be there or not than each other. It’s still something I am trying to sort through from the Moss book,

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Love this line of thought, Lauren. I am glad you had some connection to similar spaces .... Very interesting about liminal spaces!

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I'm very much a library person. I usually spend a few hours two or tree days a week doing some of my freelance work in front of a big window. I also feel the teen and children's sections are a big no-go place for me. As a middle aged-man who can look pretty gruff, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Even though I've been the primary caregiver of four kids for more than twelve years, I know I still don't come across as a caregiver. I miss being able to look at all the beautiful illustrated children's books!

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Put them on hold! I'm really glad to see your comment, Jason. I know how I've internalized the rules about those spaces. I can imagine that it might feel different, too, as a man, even if, as you say, you totally have a reason to wander in that space. Hopefully you get time to browse when kids are with you. I'm also glad to hear from someone else who enjoys time working at the library!

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I'm taking my almost 13-year old to the library Wednesday (per her request!) and will figure out the hold system!

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You’ll probably find you can reserve online and just pick up from a holds shelf. It’s a game-changer all around.

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Mar 26Liked by Amy Cowen

I LOVE libraries. Though after reading this I realize I have not become friends with my new library. We moved here 3 years ago and have only visited a few times. Once because our electricity went out and I needed the internet to work. It also has not helped that our library has been under construction. A wonderful thing that they are making improvements but I have not been back since they have reopened all the spaces. Your newsletter is a reminder that I do need to get over there and see what they updated.

My favorite is the main Salt Lake City library. When we lived there I would visit often. They had (have?) a coffee shop. I would wander around, grab a stack of books, get a coffee then find a table along the wall of windows with beautiful mountain views. You had to traverse a cat walk to get to the lounge side. It was awesome! It has been a long time since I have been back there.

I am sorry you are unable to visit the kiddos part of your library. Too bad you can’t borrow a kid.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You reminded me of a love I had forgotten.

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It will be exciting to check out the renovated space. The Salt Lake City library sounds amazing. Wow! I can see how that would be a favorite!

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Mar 28Liked by Amy Cowen

This post makes me think of a nonfiction book I listened to—The Library Book by Susan Orlean. My eyes were opened to all the radical inclusion libraries have offered and still do. There’s also a mysterious fire in the book, too. I think back to that book often, surprisingly, but at the time gave it 3.5 stars.

I love to go to the library and still peruse the children’s section on behalf of my students. I’m usually getting nonfiction books for them. We have a small school library, but nothing like public school or the public library has. I usually feel completely welcome browsing the shelves with my tote bag filling up, but I don’t sit and linger in the area. I love to stand at the windows (it’s on a 2nd floor) and look out over our small downtown. Sometimes the train goes right by the side of the library and that’s an extra thrill—but I’m remembering the excitement my own young kids had years ago.

I’m a fan of libraries and use Libby to get books our town doesn’t have. I got a Houston library card, too! For free! I just think, “What a wonderful world with so much access to free literature in it!” Currently listening to a YA reimagining called Pride and Premeditation. So fun.

Was it L or I or l? My phone’s fonts made it hard for me to understand your words prompt! lol or IoI

So iconic Iditerod and isometric

Or

Laconic lovingly and lackadaisical

My last big thing on my March to do is a school egg hunt today! But we’re working the front flower beds here a at home and I have 3 plants to get in the ground asap.

Here’s to finding those belonging spaces this week. ❤️

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I hope the egg hunt was fun and that you get your plants in! Sure signs that the school year is moving along, too, right?

Thank you for sharing your library connections!

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Mar 28Liked by Amy Cowen

I would like to be a library person. I went when my kids were young. I am in a new area now and should go check out the local library…a even smaller one than where I last lived, I think, but a beautiful building and a reason to get out. I should. For now I’ve been enjoying reading picture books on a library app. I love the children’s section. Sad for it to become off limits, but I understand why. Thank you for your words and pictures again this week.

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Thank you, Erin. It may simply be that you have a great space to sit and read and make art, as is! But maybe sometime you'll at least take a look at the library. We are lucky to have such easy access to books on our devices, indeed.

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Mar 28Liked by Amy Cowen

I have a lot to do before the end of the month but mostly stuff I want to do. Struggling with finding my stride for my journal - more text? Just drawings? How best to mix and layout… favorite I words: illuminate, illustrate and informative.

I realized from your post how much I miss living where the public library would be an inviting place to sit and read. Ours have very few seats and I just pick up my holds and go. The main library is in a newish building (the beautiful old one was burned down by the Black and Tans in 1920) but it is a Carnegie Library and so has a separate children’s room but ours doesn’t limit access. Which is good because that’s where the YA stuff is as well. I always appreciate the books you mention and the ones mentioned in the comments.

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Thank you for your comment, Catherine. I think we probably go through phases with libraries.... phases of picking up or sitting down. I am sorry though that your library there doesn't invite you to sit now and again. -- I hope your rush to the end of the month went well. Your comment about your journal interests me. I know though that probably you don't want answers. I know it can be helpful sometimes to verbalize the question for ourselves, out loud or to others. And then we are freed to move forward. I hope you continue to explore. When I first started writing here, part of my plan was to talk about "layout" with people. But over the last year, I questioned the usefulness of that. I hope you have a good start to April. (And thank you for the comment about books. I really appreciate that.)

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