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kathi wright's avatar

your photo caption hit me like a brick, the five month mark of loss. i still want to reach out to you, stranger/not stranger, weaver of words that you are, with some magic balm to ease the pain.

when i opened my email this morning, the first post was from another substack writer i follow who is the daughter of an old friend. hers (at shangrilogs) is about a five month mark, too - those five of losing her sense of self in the care and feeding of a new baby.

serendipity.

yes, i did mail and craft a postcard for october, sent to australia. your spiral examples triggered memories of the 70s - and good gawd how can that now be a past era and my current age group? - in which i painted large rocks. one had the desiderata painted in a spiral on it’s broad surface.

i am fascinated by ammonites and so i choose snails over slugs. similar patterns. plus, i think i have a resident snail in my garage. it leaves iridescent trail maps on the step into the garage from the kitchen. there is not much food source in the garage so it’s a mystery why it visits. but hey, i see you…slimy interloper…

thank you for writing, amy.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Well, little crabs, at least you got to be in the spotlight for a little while, even if it was by accident. 😅

Coincidentally, I came upon a tiny snail here just yesterday, as I upended pots of sweet potatoes, grown mostly for the attractive vines but always fun to see if we get any appreciable harvest (answer: a basket full). We are all too familiar with slugs, which I like to say are unhoused snails, but their shelled cousins are less common. Imagine being able to just grow a bigger house, as needed?!

I love your circuitous spiral, your initially reluctant gratitude practice, and all that you have and are experiencing through that.

Like Kathi, below, I wish there were some way to ease the burden for you while simultaneously not expecting you to be done with it. There is no being done with it. Only the eventual ability to carry it differently. Does it help at all to be reminded that you're not invisible here?

I want to read the widow post again. Thank you for sharing it and for knowing that getting it down is part of your process.

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