Thinking about connectedness, what I am writing, and where things fit. Latching on, again, to a Gobstopper view and embracing the holistic…the search for meaning.
I really enjoy the practice of consuming my Sunday morning coffee with your weekly post…and we just recently got a new roof so I know well the anxiety that comes with that. It was unsettling from start to finish for me. But I’m so grateful to have it done now. Here’s to getting the job done quickly & without incident or additional costs!
Thank you, Kiersten. I really appreciate that this post is part of your Sunday coffee! Good to see you today for drawing, too. I’m glad your roof is done!
Fingers crossed for the roof project Amy. I love your Venn diagram illustration and the search for meaning underlay. I think you got the nail on the head there. What is any of life if not that, and we are all muddling through it for the first and last time together. Hugs for your week ahead!
Thank you, Lauren, for looking at the diagrams. It’s funny to me now that the “meaning” came so much later….and yet made so much sense. I love this: “what is any of life if not that.”
Sending positive vibes for the roofing project. Be aware that it will be loud. I don’t know if you are sensitive to that type of thing, but a house is a drum and you will be inside it.
I look forward to reading your weekly post, and I like being notified by email, I expect it. I would be alarmed to wake up and find it missing.
“I need to mobilize, and yet my limbs are suddenly concrete.” This sums up where I am.
I need to go buy newsprint tomorrow, to pack my collection of mason jars.
Thanks, Laura. I’m bracing myself for noise! I really appreciate your kind words — I hope the emails continue to fall into the boxes on Sunday. Good luck wrapping the mason jars. You’ll have to tell us how that collection came to be next week! Hoping you have a good week as you continue to get things ready.
We have a koi street artist here in Austin, too, and I just love them. Your circle journal drawings are amazing, beautiful, thought provoking. Love the lemon photo and how the lemon's skin matches the surface it's on, wrinkly - wise. I also love looking at your illustrated journal pages and have much respect for what you draw. Great post, Amy.
Thank you so much, Mary! I really appreciate your words, and thank you for commenting on that wrinkly lemon! Running across sidewalk koi is so whimsical. I’m glad you’ve encountered them, too.
Amy, your imagery and command of concepts and ideas is consistently powerful and awe-inspiring. And while I love your artwork, and your musings about your process––and yes, to the Gobstopper––I read you primarily for your writing. As far as your perception of having a lack of imagination, I say: Ridiculous! You have an imagination that is consistently creating the most vivid images on the pad and with your pen, whatever it is you're working on. I think people who are interested in great writing would gladly read you, subscribe and pay for your work. Maybe repositioning is something to explore more fully, maybe a second stack on grief, maybe just some new sections. Or maybe not. Maybe just be who you are, because who you are is a beautiful, magical, generous human. With a gigantic heart. Thank for today.
Nan has written what feel like exactly the right words (aptly named Stack, it would seem). Like her, I'm here not to learn to draw or keep an illustrated journal, but to appreciate that you do while enjoying your ability to connect so many explorations and discoveries in each post. I keep thinking how hard it is to write with this level of honesty. I also realize that I never knew your writing when you weren't also caught in the vortex, in and out of the hospital, perpetually trying to pick up the pieces or to keep them from coming apart. Life is already difficult and full without all that, so it doesn't surprise me that tasks went undone, nor that you feel simultaneously untethered and immobilized now. Grieving isn't limited to the time after the loss, though that is when loneliness makes it that much more present.
I'm glad you are okay, okay-ish, will be okay. And it's also totally okay to NOT be okay, you know?
Thank you, Elizabeth. And I smile that you and Nan commented back to back. You both publish on Wednesdays - and so both of you are part of my Wednesdays. I love that. Your words really help soothe this moment….thank you for your comments about before, during, and after. Vortex is a good word.
Thank you, Nan. I take all of these words to heart, and as a wonderful Substack writer yourself, you are spot on about the ways I am thinking about what’s next. I guess I’m a mix, and the people here right now are here for a mix of reasons. Ultimately, here for the writing is the best response, and I thank you for that.
Thank you for your comment, and for letting me know you found your way here via Nan. (I love her work.) Thank you, too, for most likely solving the mystery of the koi! I’m happy to see the name of the artist and that story. More than 8,000 sidewalk koi…. Wow! (From the article, “ He hopes the fish make people happy and inspires them to “overcome anything that they may be dealing with.”)
I learned about the SoMa artist and stencil graffitist who gained ground in the leather community when I was archivist at a kink library/archives in San Francisco. He’s represented by the Voss Gallery.
I'm a lover of Koi. I've seen his work, and adore the play of shadows that add dimension. I have a big Koi tattoo on my shoulder that I got 35 years ago. Still looks good! And symbolizes so much for me. That's a story for sure. Thanks for the reminder! xo
Personally, the only tats I have are 5 dots around my right breast (for breast cancer when I was 38). Other than that, everyone thinks I have art tattoos—but, I’m decidedly like John Waters here. :)
I read this a few times (admiring the impossible venn!) and then noticed that the Gobstopper diagram looks like a target. So you could think of "the search for meaning" as the bull's eye!
As usual, it takes me until the end of the week and more than one rereading to fully absorb your wonderful world of image, rhythm and thought. Thank you for another fine post.
Also, what sort of person doesn’t have a junk drawer? Maybe Jack Reacher, the Lee Child character who never even does laundry. He just tosses his old cheap clothes and buys new duds.
I think maybe I am doing that with my life just now. Even though the junk is piling up.
Thanks for reading, Fran. There's never a race. As you know, we post our words for when they are convenient. I had to laugh at the Jack Reacher comment :)
I open your posts for all of it, Amy. The whole person…all of it is you, and I think it all fits together in a beautiful, meaningful way. Practical steps and prompts to spur creative activities, genuine and compassionate encouragement to do creative activities in spite of the varying, individualized obstacles we all face, and real life examples of how showing up and making space for creativity can be essential through life’s wide range of experiences. Plus there is beautiful visual art to look at. I see it as a whole package that all fits together like those colorful Gobstopper spots on your page.
Also, Nan’s comment about your imagination is spot on. Your descriptions conjure up such vivid imagery that so beautifully, uniquely, and aptly describes intangible things. I remember you saying you struggle draw from imagination or memory, but you surely can write from imagination. One of the reasons I reread and re-listen is to hear those descriptions again and dwell on them a bit. And as Fran said, it takes “more than one rereading to fully absorb your wonderful world of image, rhythm and thought.” Well put and very true.
Your roof situation sounds very stressful. I hope all went smoothly.
Thanks for always being so supportive, Erin, and I remain fascinated that you listen to the auto reader. That's so cool. I really don't have much imagination (and zero visualization), but I do like to play with words. I'll go with your spin on that for now. That's nice. Hope you had a good week.
I think the auto reader does a pretty good job, but it does get some things wrong in its interpretation. Your actual writing with your text layout and imagery placement is a better way to experience it I think, but I do enjoy listening as well.
I really enjoy the practice of consuming my Sunday morning coffee with your weekly post…and we just recently got a new roof so I know well the anxiety that comes with that. It was unsettling from start to finish for me. But I’m so grateful to have it done now. Here’s to getting the job done quickly & without incident or additional costs!
Thank you, Kiersten. I really appreciate that this post is part of your Sunday coffee! Good to see you today for drawing, too. I’m glad your roof is done!
Fingers crossed for the roof project Amy. I love your Venn diagram illustration and the search for meaning underlay. I think you got the nail on the head there. What is any of life if not that, and we are all muddling through it for the first and last time together. Hugs for your week ahead!
Thank you, Lauren, for looking at the diagrams. It’s funny to me now that the “meaning” came so much later….and yet made so much sense. I love this: “what is any of life if not that.”
Sending positive vibes for the roofing project. Be aware that it will be loud. I don’t know if you are sensitive to that type of thing, but a house is a drum and you will be inside it.
I look forward to reading your weekly post, and I like being notified by email, I expect it. I would be alarmed to wake up and find it missing.
“I need to mobilize, and yet my limbs are suddenly concrete.” This sums up where I am.
I need to go buy newsprint tomorrow, to pack my collection of mason jars.
Thanks, Laura. I’m bracing myself for noise! I really appreciate your kind words — I hope the emails continue to fall into the boxes on Sunday. Good luck wrapping the mason jars. You’ll have to tell us how that collection came to be next week! Hoping you have a good week as you continue to get things ready.
We have a koi street artist here in Austin, too, and I just love them. Your circle journal drawings are amazing, beautiful, thought provoking. Love the lemon photo and how the lemon's skin matches the surface it's on, wrinkly - wise. I also love looking at your illustrated journal pages and have much respect for what you draw. Great post, Amy.
Thank you so much, Mary! I really appreciate your words, and thank you for commenting on that wrinkly lemon! Running across sidewalk koi is so whimsical. I’m glad you’ve encountered them, too.
Amy, your imagery and command of concepts and ideas is consistently powerful and awe-inspiring. And while I love your artwork, and your musings about your process––and yes, to the Gobstopper––I read you primarily for your writing. As far as your perception of having a lack of imagination, I say: Ridiculous! You have an imagination that is consistently creating the most vivid images on the pad and with your pen, whatever it is you're working on. I think people who are interested in great writing would gladly read you, subscribe and pay for your work. Maybe repositioning is something to explore more fully, maybe a second stack on grief, maybe just some new sections. Or maybe not. Maybe just be who you are, because who you are is a beautiful, magical, generous human. With a gigantic heart. Thank for today.
Nan has written what feel like exactly the right words (aptly named Stack, it would seem). Like her, I'm here not to learn to draw or keep an illustrated journal, but to appreciate that you do while enjoying your ability to connect so many explorations and discoveries in each post. I keep thinking how hard it is to write with this level of honesty. I also realize that I never knew your writing when you weren't also caught in the vortex, in and out of the hospital, perpetually trying to pick up the pieces or to keep them from coming apart. Life is already difficult and full without all that, so it doesn't surprise me that tasks went undone, nor that you feel simultaneously untethered and immobilized now. Grieving isn't limited to the time after the loss, though that is when loneliness makes it that much more present.
I'm glad you are okay, okay-ish, will be okay. And it's also totally okay to NOT be okay, you know?
Beautiful, magical, generous...all of that, yes.
Thank you, Elizabeth. And I smile that you and Nan commented back to back. You both publish on Wednesdays - and so both of you are part of my Wednesdays. I love that. Your words really help soothe this moment….thank you for your comments about before, during, and after. Vortex is a good word.
Thank you, Nan. I take all of these words to heart, and as a wonderful Substack writer yourself, you are spot on about the ways I am thinking about what’s next. I guess I’m a mix, and the people here right now are here for a mix of reasons. Ultimately, here for the writing is the best response, and I thank you for that.
Beautiful work! If it weren’t for Nan for recommending your Substack, I wouldn’t have seen this loveliness…the koi fish…that looks like Bay Area stencil artist Jeremy Novy: https://www.kqed.org/news/11987286/ever-seen-a-koi-fish-on-the-sidewalk-artist-explains-hidden-meaning
Thank you for your comment, and for letting me know you found your way here via Nan. (I love her work.) Thank you, too, for most likely solving the mystery of the koi! I’m happy to see the name of the artist and that story. More than 8,000 sidewalk koi…. Wow! (From the article, “ He hopes the fish make people happy and inspires them to “overcome anything that they may be dealing with.”)
I learned about the SoMa artist and stencil graffitist who gained ground in the leather community when I was archivist at a kink library/archives in San Francisco. He’s represented by the Voss Gallery.
I'm a lover of Koi. I've seen his work, and adore the play of shadows that add dimension. I have a big Koi tattoo on my shoulder that I got 35 years ago. Still looks good! And symbolizes so much for me. That's a story for sure. Thanks for the reminder! xo
Amén for tats looking good—that shows some class!
Personally, the only tats I have are 5 dots around my right breast (for breast cancer when I was 38). Other than that, everyone thinks I have art tattoos—but, I’m decidedly like John Waters here. :)
I read this a few times (admiring the impossible venn!) and then noticed that the Gobstopper diagram looks like a target. So you could think of "the search for meaning" as the bull's eye!
I hope all is well with the roof 🤞🤞🤞
Definitely a bull's eye! That's a great way to look at that stack of nested circles! Thanks for being here, Melissa.
Dear Amy,
As usual, it takes me until the end of the week and more than one rereading to fully absorb your wonderful world of image, rhythm and thought. Thank you for another fine post.
Also, what sort of person doesn’t have a junk drawer? Maybe Jack Reacher, the Lee Child character who never even does laundry. He just tosses his old cheap clothes and buys new duds.
I think maybe I am doing that with my life just now. Even though the junk is piling up.
I had that same thought… there are people out there who don’t have junk drawers?!
Thanks for reading, Fran. There's never a race. As you know, we post our words for when they are convenient. I had to laugh at the Jack Reacher comment :)
I think that is male fantasy wish fulfillment. What guy doesn’t want to not do laundry?
I open your posts for all of it, Amy. The whole person…all of it is you, and I think it all fits together in a beautiful, meaningful way. Practical steps and prompts to spur creative activities, genuine and compassionate encouragement to do creative activities in spite of the varying, individualized obstacles we all face, and real life examples of how showing up and making space for creativity can be essential through life’s wide range of experiences. Plus there is beautiful visual art to look at. I see it as a whole package that all fits together like those colorful Gobstopper spots on your page.
Also, Nan’s comment about your imagination is spot on. Your descriptions conjure up such vivid imagery that so beautifully, uniquely, and aptly describes intangible things. I remember you saying you struggle draw from imagination or memory, but you surely can write from imagination. One of the reasons I reread and re-listen is to hear those descriptions again and dwell on them a bit. And as Fran said, it takes “more than one rereading to fully absorb your wonderful world of image, rhythm and thought.” Well put and very true.
Your roof situation sounds very stressful. I hope all went smoothly.
Thanks for always being so supportive, Erin, and I remain fascinated that you listen to the auto reader. That's so cool. I really don't have much imagination (and zero visualization), but I do like to play with words. I'll go with your spin on that for now. That's nice. Hope you had a good week.
I think the auto reader does a pretty good job, but it does get some things wrong in its interpretation. Your actual writing with your text layout and imagery placement is a better way to experience it I think, but I do enjoy listening as well.