I had occasion to mention my favorite dessert this week, and I chose Key Lime Pie. I regularly look at pie charts in my StoryGraph app.
What I had read immediately previous to this post was about *hope* and how it’s different than optimism (positivity?). Hope is expectantly waiting, with tension, despite circumstances. I’m not an affirmations gal, not really into manifesting. But I am a scripture gal, and pondering is my jam. Shouting into the vast universe in pain or hope or longing for me is a conversation with God. I know that’s not for everyone. Conversations and meditations (rumination) in my mind to get me out of negative thinking, that’s a real tool for changing the neural pathways, I believe in that. I don’t do it enough.
P words (it’s the next letter of the week in Kindergarten!): pattern pernicious
Thank you for this thoughtful reply - and I’m glad I was in sync with the letter of the coming week! I really appreciate your response and the various ways to think about these things and to have conversations with the universe or with God. (Totally agree on the difference between hope and optimism.)
I use affirmations every day. I write them in my journal. Sometimes I do short (3 mins or so) meditations where I just repeat the affirmation in my head as my focus point instead of focusing on the breath.
I agree with you that they are personal for everyone, we all have to find the words that work for us and feel right. I'm not a pie in the sky person (I don't like food pie either, I'm a cake gal 😁). I don't think affirmations have some sort of magic power to conjure things into reality. I WILL WIN THE LOTTERY is laughable to me as well since I don't buy tickets either, so filling an entire notebook with that statement just ain't gonna make it come true. I DO think that speaking kindly to myself as often a possible is a worthy endeavor.
I don't follow any real religion myself, but I once heard someone ask why people believed in prayer because you can't change God's will, so what is the point? The response was "Prayer doesn't change God, prayer changes me." That is how I view affirmations. They don't change the outside world, they change my inner world. And then I take that tiny fleck of positivity with me. And THAT has the power to change the world.
I've also found that like glimmers and gratitude, once you make affirmations a practice, it becomes that much easier to notice things you like about yourself and to be your own cheerleader. I was strong in that moment, I felt confident about this, I did my best today even though things was difficult.
I am not religious, but the second to last paragraph really mirrors my feelings on the topic. I do believe, or I really want to believe, that affirmations could change the voice inside our heads. And that would be a really big thing.
I live in a sea of Christianity, and there is a lot of thoughts and prayers happening. Someone asked me how I could stand being asked to pray, being told people are praying for me. In my head I translate “prayer” into “positive thoughts/energy into the universe,” and who doesn’t need that?
Thank, you, Trish. I really appreciate your words. This, is so important: “ I DO think that speaking kindly to myself as often a possible is a worthy endeavor.” I really love the prayer example here and your words on change. That’s how I see this… the inner change that then may lead to intentional steps. I love the “tiny fleck of positivity” line. You exude positivity!
Very interesting article, Amy! I have found Affirmations go hand in hand with my meditation practice & reframe them by starting with “May I…” (E.g., May I find peace today, etc.). Feels more gentle & less forced. It has taken me a long time to get to this place, a journey for sure!🩷🌸
This is a wonderful spin on phrasing, Patricia. I find the subtle nuances of the phrasings and tense very interesting to consider… just the right kind of small thing I really look at and contemplate! Thank you for the P words, too!
I WANT to believe in affirmations, I want to change the voice inside my head to something more positive and loving. I don’t know why I don’t just try it. I say I will, then it just slips out of my head, forgotten? Avoided?
I am at a point in my life where I do feel unloved and incapable, and it terrifies me. I KNOW the only one who can change my life is me, but I am completely paralyzed and lost. I don’t want to go it alone, but I need to be able to. This sounds dramatic, but my life depends on it. Or I need to accept where I am now and commit to making my best life here.
My dad believed the world was divided into cake people and pie people, and it encompassed more foods than just pie. He and I were always pie people. My favorite depends on where I am dining, or who made it. I had apple yesterday for my birthday, but my grocery store bakery let me down.
I love this philosophy from your Dad. I had to laugh when reading the comments and saw Trish say (above) that she is a cake person since you had mentioned this in our drawing group. I guess some people are potato chip people, too. Hah! I’m glad there was pie for your birthday, even if it wasn’t exactly what you would have picked if you could have pie in the sky ;)
Laura…. You are strong and capable and loved. Even only knowing you a little bit, I know these things. But you have to know them, and maybe the real words are other words — these things are so very personal. Can you give it a try? Pin it to something else…. Maybe, for example, just before or after you make your dress post, you write one line three times. Or a few lines three times. Or whatever lines make sense. But try just something small that way. Try it for a while and see how it feels. I hear you. And I see you. I’m so glad our paths crossed this year.
🌟 Once long ago, in my twenties, as a poor graduate student eating a slice of pizza in a local dive, I made a list in my notebook of things I wanted to happen. About ten years later, looking back, I realized that many of them had come to pass, and I was interested in that. Thus, my first experience of putting wishes out into the world (and then forgetting about them!) and feeling those words to be like a spell or enchantment, and that they had power. Later I wrote occasional affirmations mainly during troubling times, but like you, have felt much ambivalence and doubt about them even in spite of that first experience. I so want to believe that they work as advertised, but my negativity bias gets in the way. In the current, difficult phase of my life, I may need to dust them off and bring them out again. Just in case, that they might work. It’s worth a try.
🌟 Pie-cherry, coconut cream, chocolate
🌟 phantasmagorical, poltergeist, preternatural (this feels like a theme 🤣)
Adah - that’s a wonderful thing to have rediscovered that list along the way and found that things had come to pass as you had hoped. I understand the ambivalence. What I do think is that most of us need more positive self-talk. It might just change how we feel even if it doesn’t change the world! Thank you sharing your P words :)
Each year instead of writing resolutions I pick an affirmation. I choose something short and general. It essentially becomes an anti-curse word I just lock into my brain to recite when I’m frustrated or angry or whatnot. I do believe our inner voice has the opportunity to corral our line of thinking in those moments so I like to have something to reach for. One year I definitely did the “I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing” one. That was a year I had a hellish work commute plus some health things going on. And frankly due to circumstances both in and out of my control- I rarely did that commute again after that year, but if I hadn’t stuck out that year in that traffic, I probably wouldn’t have landed on my feet as well in the next phase. I really was in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. Heyyyyy!
This is an interesting yearly practice, Lauren! I can’t imaging sticking with one (the pressure of picking just one!), but it’s a fascinating approach, and I love the example you shared. That kind of phrase can become a powerful mantra, for sure. Thank you for sharing this.
Your comics are great, Amy! I agree that affirmations are very personal and one has to find the way that works for them or maybe to find out it's not for them. I have Louise Hay's affirmation cards, I pick one about every month and leave it on my desk for that month. I like to combine them with something actionable like glimmers or small achievable intentions.
Thank you, Marianne, for commenting and for your P words. I find it interesting how we all go about choosing and selecting. Choosing from a deck is an interesting process…. There is something beautifully random about that (if you are pulling like tarot)…. Trusting that the words are ones you will need. Really nice.
I pull like a tarot card. It helps me not to overthink what affirmation to choose. I trust that I pick something that is helpful to me at that time. Sometimes it is very obvious why I pulled a certain affirmation and sometimes not immediately but then it gives me something to think about and I always find a way to work with it.
I love pie. I probably need to love it a little less and get healthier. Lol. My favorite is lemon meringue thanks to my grandmother who used to make delicious homemade ones. As for pie in the sky, I am definitely a daydreamer but I am also a doubter and very skeptical. I've had the same thoughts as you about affirmations. I feel silly thinking that I can change my life by writing/ saying something that doesn't feel true, and yet I admit that it's also true that I never know the future and good things are possible. I focus on negative possibilities too much because personal experience has taught me that I should be as prepared as I can for hard things. Yet for my own health and peace of mind I try to think of what could go right and dwell on things that feel good to think about. I think the more I do that, the more positivity can become a habit for me. P words: plan, practical, peace.
Having a pie memory tied to family is always the best, Susan. I love that you have that and that you are a daydreamer. (I’m not.) Making positivity a habit and a more comfortable voice sounds like a good idea! We can be positive and still prepared to handle hard things. But when we spend all our time worrying about the possibilities…. And they may not even come to pass…. We’ve potentially spent a lot of time needlessly worrying. I think throwing in some positive self-talk can only do most of us good. I hope you have a peaceful week.
A very pale pink hammer -barely pink and perhaps more like a plush toy version of a hammer than a powerful iron one (or whatever metal it is that hammers are made of); pie charts and apple pie; a pumpkin painted with polka-dots.
I liked your discussion of affirmations, and I loved reading this after yesterday’s SoulCollage session, one of my favorite days of the month. Yesterday we took one of the cards we had made and dialogues with it by gazing at it and then intuitively writing a series of ‘I am’ statements as the card began to ‘speak.’ There was no requirement that the ‘I am’ statements be affirmations; they were just whatever came forth from the card as we looked at it and listened to what it wanted to say. But many of mine (and, I suspect, everyone else’s as well) turned out to be affirmations. I like when the affirmations bubble up from within, from my inner knowing, rather than being ‘forced’ by my conscious mind. (Because, like you, I sometimes feel a little silly just making up affirmations; it can feel a little bit ‘woo,’ even though I know that it is not, and that there is lots of empirical research to back up the value of affirmations. And anyway, I am full of woo, so why do I (sometimes) get self conscious about making up affirmations?? Something for me to think about.) Anyway, back to the SoulCollage dialoguing: not all of the ‘I am’ statements that my card brought forth for me were inherently positive; some of them were just ‘my truth’ as spoken to me by the card. But daring to voice (or write) one’s truth is itself a kind of affirmation: I am, in all of my complexity.
Thank you for another beautiful and thought-provoking reflection.
What a wonderful connection Rebecca. I know how meaningful the SoulCollage process is for you, and it’s so serendipitous that this exercise just happened and took the form, specifically, of the “I am.” Wow. That sounds like a powerful session and a really good practice to repeat. I appreciate reading your words on this and knowing that many of us dance around these things, even as we embrace them. Love the plush toy hammer moment. Thank you for reading!
What a thought provoking piece, Amy. I used to do affirmations a lot in my 20's and 30's but haven't used them lately. I think my gratitude lists became the more powerful tool for me. At this point, I have come to believe some of my old affirmations so maybe they did work after all? I love the trifecta of gratitude, glimmers and affirmations - that really resonates. My favorite sweet pie is cherry. P words: piquant, precipitous, papaya. I was going to tell a chemistry joke but they were argon.
Emerging pink hammer? I didn’t realize until recently the power affirmations could have. There are times in life when we really need to hear those reminders to ourself. My sister puts up sticky notes all around her house, then you see/hear them repeatedly throughout the day. Peaceful, perennial, potted plant. (I guess that’s technically 4 P words...)
Thank you, Erin. I love that image of the sticky notes your sister uses. I often think of people with sticky notes everywhere for other reasons. I love this one! Thank you for reading and for the P words.
You remind me that I have a list of outrageous affirmations that I slammed out about 15 years ago, back when I was involved with the Unity church. Affirmations really do work. My favorite of the bunch is “I am a piece of work.” I’ll post this list on Becoming, oh, soon.
P words: perspicacity, piety, pinecone. Don’t know where piety came from. Look at it less as a judgmental word than one that accepts the preciousness of spirit.
I’ve always been a spiritual person, but I stepped away from ritual several years ago. It might be time to step back in. Besides, I miss singing hymns in harmony.
Bit late but I'm catching up on my reading. I'm with you. I thought affirmations were a bit airy fairy but then I started using what I guess is an affirmation to help correct my negative self talk. It's actually been really helpful to say out loud a more positive or realistic sentence to puts it in a light of growth not deficit. Does that make sense.
Poppies, pizazz, popsicles
Thank you, Michelle, for reading and for sharing these words. Starting off with poppies is perfect!
Pies and pie charts! I love both.
I had occasion to mention my favorite dessert this week, and I chose Key Lime Pie. I regularly look at pie charts in my StoryGraph app.
What I had read immediately previous to this post was about *hope* and how it’s different than optimism (positivity?). Hope is expectantly waiting, with tension, despite circumstances. I’m not an affirmations gal, not really into manifesting. But I am a scripture gal, and pondering is my jam. Shouting into the vast universe in pain or hope or longing for me is a conversation with God. I know that’s not for everyone. Conversations and meditations (rumination) in my mind to get me out of negative thinking, that’s a real tool for changing the neural pathways, I believe in that. I don’t do it enough.
P words (it’s the next letter of the week in Kindergarten!): pattern pernicious
Thank you for this thoughtful reply - and I’m glad I was in sync with the letter of the coming week! I really appreciate your response and the various ways to think about these things and to have conversations with the universe or with God. (Totally agree on the difference between hope and optimism.)
Pink hammer. Paparazzi, Palestine, pluviophile.
I use affirmations every day. I write them in my journal. Sometimes I do short (3 mins or so) meditations where I just repeat the affirmation in my head as my focus point instead of focusing on the breath.
I agree with you that they are personal for everyone, we all have to find the words that work for us and feel right. I'm not a pie in the sky person (I don't like food pie either, I'm a cake gal 😁). I don't think affirmations have some sort of magic power to conjure things into reality. I WILL WIN THE LOTTERY is laughable to me as well since I don't buy tickets either, so filling an entire notebook with that statement just ain't gonna make it come true. I DO think that speaking kindly to myself as often a possible is a worthy endeavor.
I don't follow any real religion myself, but I once heard someone ask why people believed in prayer because you can't change God's will, so what is the point? The response was "Prayer doesn't change God, prayer changes me." That is how I view affirmations. They don't change the outside world, they change my inner world. And then I take that tiny fleck of positivity with me. And THAT has the power to change the world.
I've also found that like glimmers and gratitude, once you make affirmations a practice, it becomes that much easier to notice things you like about yourself and to be your own cheerleader. I was strong in that moment, I felt confident about this, I did my best today even though things was difficult.
As always, thought provoking and delightful.
Oh my gosh, and PS: your comics are the best! Your cartoon Amy is perfect and so cute!! 😍
Thank you!
I am not religious, but the second to last paragraph really mirrors my feelings on the topic. I do believe, or I really want to believe, that affirmations could change the voice inside our heads. And that would be a really big thing.
I live in a sea of Christianity, and there is a lot of thoughts and prayers happening. Someone asked me how I could stand being asked to pray, being told people are praying for me. In my head I translate “prayer” into “positive thoughts/energy into the universe,” and who doesn’t need that?
Thank, you, Trish. I really appreciate your words. This, is so important: “ I DO think that speaking kindly to myself as often a possible is a worthy endeavor.” I really love the prayer example here and your words on change. That’s how I see this… the inner change that then may lead to intentional steps. I love the “tiny fleck of positivity” line. You exude positivity!
Pink, Palace, Porcupine! (Bonus: Patricia 😉)
Very interesting article, Amy! I have found Affirmations go hand in hand with my meditation practice & reframe them by starting with “May I…” (E.g., May I find peace today, etc.). Feels more gentle & less forced. It has taken me a long time to get to this place, a journey for sure!🩷🌸
This is a wonderful spin on phrasing, Patricia. I find the subtle nuances of the phrasings and tense very interesting to consider… just the right kind of small thing I really look at and contemplate! Thank you for the P words, too!
If I had a [pink] hammer
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening
All over this land
I'd hammer out danger
I'd hammer out a warning
I'd hammer out love between
My brothers and my sisters, ah-ah
All over this land
- Trini Lopez
Purpose, porpoises, and pickles, Oh my!
I WANT to believe in affirmations, I want to change the voice inside my head to something more positive and loving. I don’t know why I don’t just try it. I say I will, then it just slips out of my head, forgotten? Avoided?
I am at a point in my life where I do feel unloved and incapable, and it terrifies me. I KNOW the only one who can change my life is me, but I am completely paralyzed and lost. I don’t want to go it alone, but I need to be able to. This sounds dramatic, but my life depends on it. Or I need to accept where I am now and commit to making my best life here.
My dad believed the world was divided into cake people and pie people, and it encompassed more foods than just pie. He and I were always pie people. My favorite depends on where I am dining, or who made it. I had apple yesterday for my birthday, but my grocery store bakery let me down.
Yesterday was your birthday??? Happy Birthday, my friend!
Thank you!
I love this philosophy from your Dad. I had to laugh when reading the comments and saw Trish say (above) that she is a cake person since you had mentioned this in our drawing group. I guess some people are potato chip people, too. Hah! I’m glad there was pie for your birthday, even if it wasn’t exactly what you would have picked if you could have pie in the sky ;)
Pie people like potato chips and other salty snacks. They also prefer mustard to Mayo.
Laura…. You are strong and capable and loved. Even only knowing you a little bit, I know these things. But you have to know them, and maybe the real words are other words — these things are so very personal. Can you give it a try? Pin it to something else…. Maybe, for example, just before or after you make your dress post, you write one line three times. Or a few lines three times. Or whatever lines make sense. But try just something small that way. Try it for a while and see how it feels. I hear you. And I see you. I’m so glad our paths crossed this year.
For what it’s worth, dear Amy: I MISS YOUR PODCASTS!
Thank you, Carol. Me, too.
I’m trying.
🌟 Once long ago, in my twenties, as a poor graduate student eating a slice of pizza in a local dive, I made a list in my notebook of things I wanted to happen. About ten years later, looking back, I realized that many of them had come to pass, and I was interested in that. Thus, my first experience of putting wishes out into the world (and then forgetting about them!) and feeling those words to be like a spell or enchantment, and that they had power. Later I wrote occasional affirmations mainly during troubling times, but like you, have felt much ambivalence and doubt about them even in spite of that first experience. I so want to believe that they work as advertised, but my negativity bias gets in the way. In the current, difficult phase of my life, I may need to dust them off and bring them out again. Just in case, that they might work. It’s worth a try.
🌟 Pie-cherry, coconut cream, chocolate
🌟 phantasmagorical, poltergeist, preternatural (this feels like a theme 🤣)
Adah - that’s a wonderful thing to have rediscovered that list along the way and found that things had come to pass as you had hoped. I understand the ambivalence. What I do think is that most of us need more positive self-talk. It might just change how we feel even if it doesn’t change the world! Thank you sharing your P words :)
Each year instead of writing resolutions I pick an affirmation. I choose something short and general. It essentially becomes an anti-curse word I just lock into my brain to recite when I’m frustrated or angry or whatnot. I do believe our inner voice has the opportunity to corral our line of thinking in those moments so I like to have something to reach for. One year I definitely did the “I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing” one. That was a year I had a hellish work commute plus some health things going on. And frankly due to circumstances both in and out of my control- I rarely did that commute again after that year, but if I hadn’t stuck out that year in that traffic, I probably wouldn’t have landed on my feet as well in the next phase. I really was in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. Heyyyyy!
This is an interesting yearly practice, Lauren! I can’t imaging sticking with one (the pressure of picking just one!), but it’s a fascinating approach, and I love the example you shared. That kind of phrase can become a powerful mantra, for sure. Thank you for sharing this.
Pie, papa, pineapple, plethora.
Your comics are great, Amy! I agree that affirmations are very personal and one has to find the way that works for them or maybe to find out it's not for them. I have Louise Hay's affirmation cards, I pick one about every month and leave it on my desk for that month. I like to combine them with something actionable like glimmers or small achievable intentions.
Thank you, Marianne, for commenting and for your P words. I find it interesting how we all go about choosing and selecting. Choosing from a deck is an interesting process…. There is something beautifully random about that (if you are pulling like tarot)…. Trusting that the words are ones you will need. Really nice.
I pull like a tarot card. It helps me not to overthink what affirmation to choose. I trust that I pick something that is helpful to me at that time. Sometimes it is very obvious why I pulled a certain affirmation and sometimes not immediately but then it gives me something to think about and I always find a way to work with it.
I love this approach and the trust in the unknown it signifies. Thank you for sharing your routine.
I love pie. I probably need to love it a little less and get healthier. Lol. My favorite is lemon meringue thanks to my grandmother who used to make delicious homemade ones. As for pie in the sky, I am definitely a daydreamer but I am also a doubter and very skeptical. I've had the same thoughts as you about affirmations. I feel silly thinking that I can change my life by writing/ saying something that doesn't feel true, and yet I admit that it's also true that I never know the future and good things are possible. I focus on negative possibilities too much because personal experience has taught me that I should be as prepared as I can for hard things. Yet for my own health and peace of mind I try to think of what could go right and dwell on things that feel good to think about. I think the more I do that, the more positivity can become a habit for me. P words: plan, practical, peace.
Having a pie memory tied to family is always the best, Susan. I love that you have that and that you are a daydreamer. (I’m not.) Making positivity a habit and a more comfortable voice sounds like a good idea! We can be positive and still prepared to handle hard things. But when we spend all our time worrying about the possibilities…. And they may not even come to pass…. We’ve potentially spent a lot of time needlessly worrying. I think throwing in some positive self-talk can only do most of us good. I hope you have a peaceful week.
Also, I love the cartoons! Great thought provoking article.
Thank you!
A very pale pink hammer -barely pink and perhaps more like a plush toy version of a hammer than a powerful iron one (or whatever metal it is that hammers are made of); pie charts and apple pie; a pumpkin painted with polka-dots.
I liked your discussion of affirmations, and I loved reading this after yesterday’s SoulCollage session, one of my favorite days of the month. Yesterday we took one of the cards we had made and dialogues with it by gazing at it and then intuitively writing a series of ‘I am’ statements as the card began to ‘speak.’ There was no requirement that the ‘I am’ statements be affirmations; they were just whatever came forth from the card as we looked at it and listened to what it wanted to say. But many of mine (and, I suspect, everyone else’s as well) turned out to be affirmations. I like when the affirmations bubble up from within, from my inner knowing, rather than being ‘forced’ by my conscious mind. (Because, like you, I sometimes feel a little silly just making up affirmations; it can feel a little bit ‘woo,’ even though I know that it is not, and that there is lots of empirical research to back up the value of affirmations. And anyway, I am full of woo, so why do I (sometimes) get self conscious about making up affirmations?? Something for me to think about.) Anyway, back to the SoulCollage dialoguing: not all of the ‘I am’ statements that my card brought forth for me were inherently positive; some of them were just ‘my truth’ as spoken to me by the card. But daring to voice (or write) one’s truth is itself a kind of affirmation: I am, in all of my complexity.
Thank you for another beautiful and thought-provoking reflection.
What a wonderful connection Rebecca. I know how meaningful the SoulCollage process is for you, and it’s so serendipitous that this exercise just happened and took the form, specifically, of the “I am.” Wow. That sounds like a powerful session and a really good practice to repeat. I appreciate reading your words on this and knowing that many of us dance around these things, even as we embrace them. Love the plush toy hammer moment. Thank you for reading!
What a thought provoking piece, Amy. I used to do affirmations a lot in my 20's and 30's but haven't used them lately. I think my gratitude lists became the more powerful tool for me. At this point, I have come to believe some of my old affirmations so maybe they did work after all? I love the trifecta of gratitude, glimmers and affirmations - that really resonates. My favorite sweet pie is cherry. P words: piquant, precipitous, papaya. I was going to tell a chemistry joke but they were argon.
Thank you for reading and for the joke, Catherine! I agree about gratitudes... I am using that practice, too. Great P word picks!
Emerging pink hammer? I didn’t realize until recently the power affirmations could have. There are times in life when we really need to hear those reminders to ourself. My sister puts up sticky notes all around her house, then you see/hear them repeatedly throughout the day. Peaceful, perennial, potted plant. (I guess that’s technically 4 P words...)
Thank you, Erin. I love that image of the sticky notes your sister uses. I often think of people with sticky notes everywhere for other reasons. I love this one! Thank you for reading and for the P words.
Hi Amy,
You remind me that I have a list of outrageous affirmations that I slammed out about 15 years ago, back when I was involved with the Unity church. Affirmations really do work. My favorite of the bunch is “I am a piece of work.” I’ll post this list on Becoming, oh, soon.
P words: perspicacity, piety, pinecone. Don’t know where piety came from. Look at it less as a judgmental word than one that accepts the preciousness of spirit.
I’ve always been a spiritual person, but I stepped away from ritual several years ago. It might be time to step back in. Besides, I miss singing hymns in harmony.
Bit late but I'm catching up on my reading. I'm with you. I thought affirmations were a bit airy fairy but then I started using what I guess is an affirmation to help correct my negative self talk. It's actually been really helpful to say out loud a more positive or realistic sentence to puts it in a light of growth not deficit. Does that make sense.