Couch, pie, squash. I guess "couch" at this time in my life, because for me, affirmations don't work in and of themselves unless I do real in-depth, grounded work on what is prompting me to turn to affirmations in the first place. Often (usually?) it is something deep-seated that I haven't allowed myself to feel and then examine. I say "feel" first because, being mostly left-brain inclined, it's so easy for me to examine things dispassionately without feeling them, or even thinking I "should" feel them. Sigh. Another great post, Amy! Thank you!
Thank you. This is an interesting and thoughtful response. I tend to think that positive self-talk would be a good addition to our days for most of us, and, really, that’s what affirmations are. I hope we all find ways to embrace that level of self-talk — even if we don’t call it affirmations. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Couch, but….On the advice of my therapist I have been practicing tapping. It is a little bit like an affirmation, but more specific. You are re-writing what is distressing in the moment. Although the action of the tapping feels a little silly, it feels MUCH less silly to me than talking to myself in the mirror.
Pie. My dad always believed there were two kinds of people in the world; cake people and pie people.
Squash, but only summer squash, the fall squash is not for me.
That’s interesting, Laura. I wouldn’t have thought of affirmations and tapping as interchangeable. I am glad that you are find tapping helpful! Summer squash — yellow!
i have a lukewarm history with affirmations, but it would be a dull, yet lengthy, swarm of thoughts and reflections if i began to write about it.
so i spare you that.
i do like pie, but also cake and winter squash and it seems that lately i am just eating my way through life, outgrowing even my leggings, eating everything in sight.
and now i have forgotten the key words to end this so i will just say thank-you, amy.
I think the thinking we do about these things and how they work for us and what changes they can or can’t bring to our perspective on life is always good, Kathi. Cake and pie — that’s the way! I hope you are enjoying the transition into these shorter days.
Amy, I'm sorry for all the unpleasant feelings you mention at the beginning of this post, but I applaud you for putting them on the page, letting yourself be honest and us better informed. I also have a hunch they're not at all out of the ordinary for someone navigating so much grief for the first time. Or anytime, really.
I'm not much for fluffy affirmations either. Part of my work involves supporting grant applications by projecting what should and can be accomplished with the potential funding, and I kind of stink at it. If it hasn't happened yet, how am I supposed to predict how many people I'll reach, or how many new behaviors they'll adopt?! "I can’t bring myself to write (and rewrite) things that have no grounding." So, yeah, spackle for me, and sometimes couch. But also, "I am capable of change."
Not much of a pie person, and pie charts remind me of pie, but I do love squash, both summer and winter. I am loved. You are loved. That's something, right?
Thank you for reading and commenting, Elizabeth. I seem to be missing the mark here - especially when I don’t expect to. So I do appreciate the comment. Identifying or forecasting reach of potential grants does sound like it would be difficult, but I bet you are better at it than you think. I think we should be using affirmations….I am skeptical of certain kinds, but I do think that as a form of positive self-talk, they can be important. Jot one down each morning for a week and see how it feels. So pie charts remind you of pie…. That’s interesting. I mean, of course, that makes sense, but…. I am guessing you probably grown or have grown squash (of various types)? If not, don’t disillusion me. lol. Thank you for reading. I hope the week ahead is good.
Edited to add "fluffy" in front of affirmations up there. :) 'Tis I who missed the mark! I need things to have a basis in reality, a level of authenticity, before they feel meaningful for me. I'm just not great at forecasting. I'm also not great at growing squash, or rather the insects and diseases outmatch me every time. But yes, I have grown quite a few types--everything from zucchini and yellow crookneck to butternut to cuccuzi (also known as snake gourd, zucha lunga, and Italian tromboncino). It predates zucchini and is usually grown as a gourd here, but picked young it makes an amazing squash. I had the most success with that one. Maybe there's a future essay in there. I seem to think that a lot in our conversations. Ha!
I had to look it up. I’ve never even seen cuccuzi. Curious and long. And i didn’t mean you’d missed the mark. I am grateful you read and commented, truly, and I’m glad to hear you think about our marginalia conversations in the comments. That’s a good thing! Me - also very much grounded in reality.
Spaghetti squash and pumpkin seeds (salted and roasted). I grew some spaghetti squash in the garden and had some for the first time this year. I love the spaghetti noodle shape/ texture of it with little salt and butter.
I really enjoyed your affirmations (and the accompanying panels you did) as well as hearing about gratitude this time of year (though anytime is a good time for that). Neither are things I have done in the past, or actively do now, but they do come in to my life at times when I need it (because of hearing about those things in your posts and podcast, thank you for that). I do think they can be powerful, especially when they are not pie in the sky but real things that your brain needs to hear and be reminded of. I am sorry for the overwhelm piling up. I can imagine there must be so much right now. “You can do this.” Hang in there, Amy.
I hope gratitude is something we cultivate not when we need it but always. Thank you, Erin. I always appreciate your comments, and I hope you have been feeling okay. I think spaghetti squash sounds great - and kudos for growing your own this year!
Your 100-day anti-fairytale affirmations *were* poetic, Amy! They were charming, thought-provoking, and inspiring for this positivity skeptic.
Aaaah, the whirlpools. A way to measure life, perhaps, beyond teaspoons.
Authenticity has always been such a central tenet in my life that I’m often surprised it isn’t key for everyone. I have often wondered if it wasn’t my undoing. And in my California decade, it has been.
Clarity, by contrast, is not always my endgame. A veil offers mystery, and protection. It can soften rather than obscure. I am reminded of the notion that this is the time of the year when the veil between worlds grows thin.
You are a lens, Amy. Your writing refracts possibility. Your kaleidoscopic vision opens the dark like a weekly beam from a lighthouse. I spent the year swimming toward it, and for that I am more grateful than you know
Maybe it is in the whirlpools, really, that the women come and go, although I started to say the mermaids come and go. Even better.
Without flipping to the text, I can’t tell if I said anything about clarity. Most would say I keep things pretty veiled. Only those who really know me get the candid me. Lucky them. Hah! I prefer to talk about things that are veiled anyway — and I like your reference to the thinning of the veil between worlds in these days. Nice.
I think some affirmations are good for most of us….we just have to find our own way in. Thank you for the final lines. I don’t know really how to say thank you other than that. But those words mean a lot.
You write, "I often wonder what I have to give you."
Well, how about everything? The moon and the stars. Seriously, Amy, your whole effort, every week, is a continual affirmation. I can't wait to lap it up, although for some reason I missed this post.
As for the kind of affirmation you writ out and maybe speak, I've tried that. Meh. I wrote a list of "outrageous affirmations" about 15 years ago that I look at once in a while as an artifact of those days.
I do like one of those affirmations, though: "I am a piece of work."
Couch, pie, squash. I guess "couch" at this time in my life, because for me, affirmations don't work in and of themselves unless I do real in-depth, grounded work on what is prompting me to turn to affirmations in the first place. Often (usually?) it is something deep-seated that I haven't allowed myself to feel and then examine. I say "feel" first because, being mostly left-brain inclined, it's so easy for me to examine things dispassionately without feeling them, or even thinking I "should" feel them. Sigh. Another great post, Amy! Thank you!
Thank you. This is an interesting and thoughtful response. I tend to think that positive self-talk would be a good addition to our days for most of us, and, really, that’s what affirmations are. I hope we all find ways to embrace that level of self-talk — even if we don’t call it affirmations. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Couch, but….On the advice of my therapist I have been practicing tapping. It is a little bit like an affirmation, but more specific. You are re-writing what is distressing in the moment. Although the action of the tapping feels a little silly, it feels MUCH less silly to me than talking to myself in the mirror.
Pie. My dad always believed there were two kinds of people in the world; cake people and pie people.
Squash, but only summer squash, the fall squash is not for me.
I lie on my couch
Dreaming of hot apple pie
Zucchini instead.
That’s interesting, Laura. I wouldn’t have thought of affirmations and tapping as interchangeable. I am glad that you are find tapping helpful! Summer squash — yellow!
I love your haiku Laura. I have heard of the tapping before. It sounds interesting. I hope you find it helpful.
i have a lukewarm history with affirmations, but it would be a dull, yet lengthy, swarm of thoughts and reflections if i began to write about it.
so i spare you that.
i do like pie, but also cake and winter squash and it seems that lately i am just eating my way through life, outgrowing even my leggings, eating everything in sight.
and now i have forgotten the key words to end this so i will just say thank-you, amy.
I think the thinking we do about these things and how they work for us and what changes they can or can’t bring to our perspective on life is always good, Kathi. Cake and pie — that’s the way! I hope you are enjoying the transition into these shorter days.
Amy, I'm sorry for all the unpleasant feelings you mention at the beginning of this post, but I applaud you for putting them on the page, letting yourself be honest and us better informed. I also have a hunch they're not at all out of the ordinary for someone navigating so much grief for the first time. Or anytime, really.
I'm not much for fluffy affirmations either. Part of my work involves supporting grant applications by projecting what should and can be accomplished with the potential funding, and I kind of stink at it. If it hasn't happened yet, how am I supposed to predict how many people I'll reach, or how many new behaviors they'll adopt?! "I can’t bring myself to write (and rewrite) things that have no grounding." So, yeah, spackle for me, and sometimes couch. But also, "I am capable of change."
Not much of a pie person, and pie charts remind me of pie, but I do love squash, both summer and winter. I am loved. You are loved. That's something, right?
Thank you for reading and commenting, Elizabeth. I seem to be missing the mark here - especially when I don’t expect to. So I do appreciate the comment. Identifying or forecasting reach of potential grants does sound like it would be difficult, but I bet you are better at it than you think. I think we should be using affirmations….I am skeptical of certain kinds, but I do think that as a form of positive self-talk, they can be important. Jot one down each morning for a week and see how it feels. So pie charts remind you of pie…. That’s interesting. I mean, of course, that makes sense, but…. I am guessing you probably grown or have grown squash (of various types)? If not, don’t disillusion me. lol. Thank you for reading. I hope the week ahead is good.
Edited to add "fluffy" in front of affirmations up there. :) 'Tis I who missed the mark! I need things to have a basis in reality, a level of authenticity, before they feel meaningful for me. I'm just not great at forecasting. I'm also not great at growing squash, or rather the insects and diseases outmatch me every time. But yes, I have grown quite a few types--everything from zucchini and yellow crookneck to butternut to cuccuzi (also known as snake gourd, zucha lunga, and Italian tromboncino). It predates zucchini and is usually grown as a gourd here, but picked young it makes an amazing squash. I had the most success with that one. Maybe there's a future essay in there. I seem to think that a lot in our conversations. Ha!
I had to look it up. I’ve never even seen cuccuzi. Curious and long. And i didn’t mean you’d missed the mark. I am grateful you read and commented, truly, and I’m glad to hear you think about our marginalia conversations in the comments. That’s a good thing! Me - also very much grounded in reality.
Spaghetti squash and pumpkin seeds (salted and roasted). I grew some spaghetti squash in the garden and had some for the first time this year. I love the spaghetti noodle shape/ texture of it with little salt and butter.
I really enjoyed your affirmations (and the accompanying panels you did) as well as hearing about gratitude this time of year (though anytime is a good time for that). Neither are things I have done in the past, or actively do now, but they do come in to my life at times when I need it (because of hearing about those things in your posts and podcast, thank you for that). I do think they can be powerful, especially when they are not pie in the sky but real things that your brain needs to hear and be reminded of. I am sorry for the overwhelm piling up. I can imagine there must be so much right now. “You can do this.” Hang in there, Amy.
I hope gratitude is something we cultivate not when we need it but always. Thank you, Erin. I always appreciate your comments, and I hope you have been feeling okay. I think spaghetti squash sounds great - and kudos for growing your own this year!
Your 100-day anti-fairytale affirmations *were* poetic, Amy! They were charming, thought-provoking, and inspiring for this positivity skeptic.
Aaaah, the whirlpools. A way to measure life, perhaps, beyond teaspoons.
Authenticity has always been such a central tenet in my life that I’m often surprised it isn’t key for everyone. I have often wondered if it wasn’t my undoing. And in my California decade, it has been.
Clarity, by contrast, is not always my endgame. A veil offers mystery, and protection. It can soften rather than obscure. I am reminded of the notion that this is the time of the year when the veil between worlds grows thin.
You are a lens, Amy. Your writing refracts possibility. Your kaleidoscopic vision opens the dark like a weekly beam from a lighthouse. I spent the year swimming toward it, and for that I am more grateful than you know
Maybe it is in the whirlpools, really, that the women come and go, although I started to say the mermaids come and go. Even better.
Without flipping to the text, I can’t tell if I said anything about clarity. Most would say I keep things pretty veiled. Only those who really know me get the candid me. Lucky them. Hah! I prefer to talk about things that are veiled anyway — and I like your reference to the thinning of the veil between worlds in these days. Nice.
I think some affirmations are good for most of us….we just have to find our own way in. Thank you for the final lines. I don’t know really how to say thank you other than that. But those words mean a lot.
You write, "I often wonder what I have to give you."
Well, how about everything? The moon and the stars. Seriously, Amy, your whole effort, every week, is a continual affirmation. I can't wait to lap it up, although for some reason I missed this post.
As for the kind of affirmation you writ out and maybe speak, I've tried that. Meh. I wrote a list of "outrageous affirmations" about 15 years ago that I look at once in a while as an artifact of those days.
I do like one of those affirmations, though: "I am a piece of work."
Thanks for reading, Fran. I love the "I am a piece of work" line. Sounds like a good one.